Cincinnati Can’t Drive

The Entire City of Cincinnati Can’t Drive.
I’m convinced without a doubt that the entire city of Cincinnati can’t drive. Ok now that we are perfectly clear on this…here’s the deal. I make it a habit to be positive in my blogs vs. negative…so my hope is that the entire city of Cincinnati will read this blog and take it as positive (yeah right). Now don’t get me wrong I am not ripping on the nati…I love many things about Cincinnati…it’ conservative nature has its pluses…so before you email me in a rant just be aware of this fact.

Change the Outcome
I have just had the honor of taking a new position with Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center. And I mean it when I say honor. I love it…l love the culture, the opportunity, the children and families that we are helping, the brand, and the passionate people whom I work with…hopefully I can learn from them and I can contribute some of my twenty odd years of experience to help benefit the cause.

But. And I say but…Cincinnati can’t drive! I commute from Dayton to the nati each day…roughly just under a hundred miles a day to gather my thoughts…listen to music and kill a few audio books every week. Now this is common for many people who work in major cities across the US of A making a long commute in order to pay that FICA guy. But I am certain no other city in the US experiences the driving habits of Cincinnati drivers.

For those of you not familiar with the cities road systems…we have two primary ways to approach the city from the north…you can travel down I71 or I75 which form a perfect “V” leading into the city. Pull out your iphones and pull up google maps and check it out. My office resides two exits from the bottom of the “V”…exit three off of I71. Now I’m certain this type of merging of major highway systems occur in many other major cities. So you can probably relate that a million or so fellow workers all are converging at the same time…in roughly the same location on a daily basis.

Freeways…Thru-Ways…No Way.
But the fact of matter still remains that the entire city of Cincinnati can’t drive. These so called freeways…which can barely be called thru-ways are littered with BMW’s, SUV’s, compact cars…you name it…a giant new and used parking lot of traffic. Now you may want to blame the engineers…but all in all they built plenty of lanes…and posted the proper speed limit and way finding signs necessary to guide the normal traveler on their way down the road and off to the appropriate destination. Did I say normal?

If you drive in Detroit, Cleveland, NYC, Atlanta or many other cities with heavy traffic you ride the pedal to the medal and white knuckle your way at seven hundred miles an hour whipping down the freeways weaving and praying you can hit the exit ramp traveling at star wars speeds without killing yourself. But in Cincinnat there is confusion on what the function of the right and left pedals are used for. So why is it that my Subaru driving in the right lane can pass a Porche driving in the left lane at a blazing 35 miles an hour?

Why Grey Matter…Matters.
You can only imagine their thoughts spinning in their heads. Stop or go? Break because there is a hill? Break because you think there is a hill? Break because you think you forgot how to use a break? Break because the road has a curve….AHHH…UGHHH!

I’m assuming most people who work here know these roads. They know where the curves are…they know where the hills are…they know where their exit is…or at least a few eight hundred thousand of them know these facts. So why is it they don’t know which pedal makes the car go forward? Ah Tim so cynical. Really? Not really…I’m just keeping things real. Friday I saw a blur whip by my window in the bus lane…it was an Amish family in a buggy!

So here’s an idea to the Mayor of the nati…mass transit? Or perhaps have the Bureau of Motor Vehicles revoke drivers licenses? Change the city name to Detroit so people think they have to leave quickly? Open the left lane traffic to Amish buggies and Subaru’s? Any and all ideas are welcome.


About Cloonan

Great Work Inspires Great People I’m always excited to see great peoples work. To hear and learn about others and share in their experiences in life, design and business. Who knows maybe someday I might learn something from you and you may read something of interest from me. Cloonan. Thinking Out Loud The opinions and views written in my blog are my personal views and insights…they do not in any way reflect or represent the views of my employer. The goal and spirit of social media is to increase communities, build relationships, share and put your personal perspective on life’s content. That is the purpose of my blog. I welcome all comments positive or negative to my own. Life is about sharing…it is about respect…it is about consideration…sometimes good and sometimes bad. Slainte’
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2 Responses to Cincinnati Can’t Drive

  1. Ken Bowers says:


    Our wise founders of the Nati planned the perfect approach to our fine city down the Mill Creek (I-75) and down the Little Miami River (I-71) over 200 years ago to spur the commerce that made the Nati the Queen City of the West, Porkopolis, home of the Nation’s Station and so much more!

    So relax and enjoy our 7 hills (can you name them?) and the fine folks who try to get from one hill to the other everyday and just wait until February when it gets really bad or in April when you are trying to get on the freeway after Opening Day or a business man’s special.
    Relax tune in the Big One or stop for a end of day refreshment at one of our many fine establishments. Soon you’ll be thinking maybe I should just move here.

    All the best my friend and congrats on your new position. Remember patience is a virtue.

    Welcome to the Nati! I owe you a Blue.

  2. I thought Seven Hills was a city in Cleveland 🙂 Thanks for the comment and the well wishes.
    Cheers…say hi to Willie

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